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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298283">Saudade</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleCiderr/pseuds/AppleCiderr'>AppleCiderr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Durarara!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Canon Universe, Character Death, Depressed Orihara Izaya, Depression, Dimension Travel, Drama &amp; Romance, F/M, Fanon Izaya in Canon Ikebukuro, Fluff, Hurt Orihara Izaya, M/M, Multiverse, Orihara Izaya Needs a Hug, Orihara Izaya in a Wheelchair, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-デュラララ!!×２ 結 | Durarara!!x2 Ketsu, Protective Heiwajima Shizuo, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tragic Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:06:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,188</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298283</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleCiderr/pseuds/AppleCiderr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya and Shizuo were a happy couple, until an illness ripped Shizuo away from Izaya. Alone and heartbroken, Izaya is about to end it all when something strange occurs. He awakens in a world where the man he loves is alive, but how can he be happy about it when in this world they are supposedly enemies?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Kishitani Shinra/Celty Sturluson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The hospital room echoed with the sound of a weakening beeping, the group of people inside were still and silent. They knew it was only a matter of time before the breathing stopped, and they lost their friend. All they could do is wait.</p><p> </p><p>As the heartbeat got weaker and weaker, the young man clutching the bedridden man’s hand started to shake more and more. </p><p> </p><p>The man wheezed weakly, turning his cloudy brown eyes to the one holding his hand. A small smile climbed onto his face, and he squeezed the shaking hand the best he could. “Hey… Izaya…” He croaked.</p><p> </p><p>The man sniffled, facing the other man with tears tumbling down his cheeks. “Sh-Shizu-chan?” He replied, his voice shaking with the effort it took to say the beloved nickname.</p><p> </p><p>Shizuo’s smile got a little bigger, and he squeezed the hand once again. “I-I’m sorry I can’t be here for you anymore…” He pulled the hand closer, Izaya not fighting against what could be his last actions.</p><p> </p><p>With barely any force, Shizuo pulled the hand towards him and pressed a small kiss against the pale skin. “I love you, I always will. Take care of yourself, okay?” He asked.</p><p> </p><p>Izaya sniffed again, nodding quickly to the question. He didn’t dare speak again, afraid that the sobbing he was barely holding back would break free.</p><p> </p><p>As if the nod was all he needed, Shizuo let his arm fall back onto the hospital bed. Only a few moments later, the quiet beeping was replaced by the sound of a flatline. The hand Izaya was holding went completely limp.</p><p> </p><p>Unable to hold it in anymore, Izaya burst into sobs. He pressed his face against the limp hand as other people joined him around the hospital bed. He could hear the sobbing of others, he could feel a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t care about any of it.</p><p> </p><p>Everything Izaya had cared about just died right in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>-- -- -- -- -- -- --</p><p> </p><p>A gentle knocking started Izaya from his stupor. He blinked blearily, looking around the dark apartment for the source of the noise.</p><p> </p><p>“Izaya? Are you in there?” </p><p> </p><p>Izaya instantly frowned, the sound of Kasuka’s voice sending stabs of pain through his heart. He flopped against the couch, hiding himself further in one of Shizuo’s old hoodies as the knocking continued.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually he heard it stop, and then a muffled sigh from behind the door. “Izaya, please at least talk to me. It’s been a month since…” The raven winced, and he knew that Kasuka likely did the same thing.</p><p> </p><p>“S-since we lost him… I know it hurts, I know how you feel. But we can’t help you if you shut us out…” There was silence for several painful seconds, obviously Kasuka waiting for Izaya to answer. </p><p> </p><p>When he stayed silent, there was another saddened sigh. “Shinra wanted me to let you know there will be another hot pot party tomorrow, and that you should come. We miss you, Izaya. So… Just think about it.”</p><p> </p><p>There was the sound of footsteps fading down the apartment hallway, and then Izaya was once again alone.</p><p> </p><p>He turned his dull red eyes to look around the apartment. The curtains shut, trash strewn all over the place, and the smell of rotten food starting to invade his senses. But he couldn’t bring himself to clean up. Ever since his lover had passed, he couldn’t find the effort to do anything.</p><p> </p><p>Izaya pressed the hoodie sleeve against his nose, it was one of Shizuo’s favorites before he passed away. But the scent was now more Izaya than Shizuo. He knew he would have to dig out a different hoodie soon if he wanted to feel like Shizuo was still there. </p><p> </p><p><em> But he isn’t here, and he’s never coming back </em> . His dark mind reminded him. He’s dead, and you’re all alone. <em> You’re nothing without him, what’s the point of living anymore? </em></p><p> </p><p>Those dark thoughts had become a constant presence in the weeks that had passed since Shizuo’s death. With every day that passed, they became harder and harder to ignore. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya forced himself to sit up, his head slumped downward to stare in the darkness. His stomach grumbled at the idea of going to the party that Shizuo was suggesting, but when was the last time he went alone?</p><p> </p><p>The hot pot parties, walking to work, picnics in the park, stargazing… He couldn’t even imagine doing them without Shizuo. But now he was forced to face that reality, and he didn’t think he could handle it. Without Heiwajima Shizuo, what was the point of anything?</p><p> </p><p>He stood up and was instantly hit with a wave of dizziness. He stumbled backwards and hit the television stand, making the whole thing rock back and forth. There was a loud shattering sound behind him, one that made him jump in surprise.</p><p> </p><p>Turning to look towards the source, he found a broken picture frame on the ground, the glass splayed out all over the floor. He knelt down, moving away glass pieces in order to pull the photo from the frame and inspect it further.</p><p> </p><p>It was a picture of him and Shizuo, the day Shizuo had proposed to him. The bright smiles, the rings on their fingers, all reminders of a promise they never got to fulfill. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh Shizuo…” He pressed the picture close to his shattered heart. “I’m so sorry, I-I know I promised you that I’d take care of myself. B-but without you… I just can’t. I can’t do this anymore…”</p><p> </p><p>Careful to not crease the image, he slid the photo inside of the hoodie pocket, wrapped it further around himself, and hurried out of the apartment.</p><p> </p><p>-- -- -- -- -- -- --</p><p> </p><p>The air was cold at the top of the skyscraper. The breeze stinging Izaya’s skin as he walked towards the edge of the building. </p><p> </p><p>He peered over the edge, the lights of late night Ikebukuro illuminating the streets below. There weren’t many people this late, that was for sure. A perfect time to make his way to the afterlife.</p><p> </p><p>Placing one hand against the photo, he took a deep breath. “Don’t worry Shizu-chan… I’ll be with you again soon.” Izaya took a deep breath, closing his eyes, and lifting one foot forward to begin his descent…</p><p> </p><p>But just before he let himself fall, a strange ringing noise reached his ears. It was like a song that ran through the wind, and it confused Izaya enough to make him stop and turn around. </p><p> </p><p>“H-hello?” He called, looking around the darkened roof in confusion as the ringing got louder. “Who’s doing that?! Who’s there?!”</p><p> </p><p>The ringing noise suddenly stopped, as if it had never been there. But before Izaya could relax a small white light appeared, and quickly expanded like an explosion, the ringing noise returning like a violent assault on his eardrums.</p><p> </p><p>Izaya cried out and covered his ears, unable to stop the light from expanding outward and blinding his vision. The floor underneath him vanished, and Izaya felt himself fall before he knew no more.</p><p> </p><p>-- -- -- -- -- -- --</p><p>When awareness finally returned to Izaya, he was greeted by a pounding headache. He groaned, rubbing at his temples as he forced his eyes open. The sunlight forced him to blink several times to get used to it before he could see again.</p><p> </p><p>He pushed himself to his feet, taking in his surroundings. He was still on the roof, but now the sun was high in the sky. With a frown, he pulled out his phone and checked the time. “Noon…” He muttered, looking back up at the blue sky. “I’ve been out that long?”</p><p> </p><p>Izaya forced himself to stand up, rubbing his eyes again as he recalled the strange noise and bright light he had seen just before passing out. “What… What was that? Did I hallucinate?” He asked aloud.</p><p> </p><p>Turning to glance around the roof, he tried to see if he could still hear or see the strange things he had encountered the night before. But the only bright light he could see was the sun, and the only sounds were the usual noises of the city. “Huh…”</p><p> </p><p>Izaya turned back towards the edge of the building. The dark thoughts returned in an instant. <em> You can still jump, who cares if there's a crowd? As soon as you hit the ground, it'll be over and you can be with Shizuo again. </em></p><p> </p><p>He took a step forward before he froze, and quickly shook his head. Whatever had happened the night before left him feeling very confused, he wanted to go home and try to figure out what he had seen. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya turned back to the door, frowning as he noticed that it was closed. "I swear I left it open…" He muttered, pulling the door open and hurrying down the long staircase and onto the first floor. </p><p> </p><p>As soon as his eyes caught sight of the lobby area he froze, his eyes flickering around at all the decorations. <em> Blue walls? Weren't they beige? </em> He frowned, shaking his head quickly. <em> Maybe they were blue yesterday, it wasn't like I paid much attention.  </em></p><p> </p><p>He pulled his hood up quickly, worried that he might get recognized by whoever was working in the lobby. Unfortunately, luck wasn't on his side. </p><p> </p><p>"Excuse me, sir! Excuse me!" The cheerful voice of the woman at the lobby called. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya cringed, but forced himself to turn around with a fake smile on his face. "Yes?" He asked through gritted teeth. </p><p> </p><p>The woman gave a sheepish grin, bowing towards him. "I apologize for bothering you, but I didn't recognize you so I don't think you live here. Were you visiting or did you want to see some of our available apartments?" She asked. </p><p> </p><p>"Uh… sorry no, I was just looking... I don't think I'm moving anytime soon…" Izaya awkwardly replied. <em> Unless it's a movement into the afterlife… </em>His mind silently added. </p><p> </p><p>The woman looked a little disappointed , and continued,"Are you sure? I could give you a tour. The Tower Grandia has plenty of available apartments right now!"</p><p> </p><p>"No, no, I-" Izaya froze, his heart skipping several beats. "Wait… what did you call it?" </p><p> </p><p>"The… Tower Grandia?" The receptionist repeated, confused. </p><p> </p><p><em> What? What?! </em> Izaya thought, quickly turning and hurrying outside of the building. He turned to look at the sign outside. <em> The Tower Grandia. </em>It read. </p><p> </p><p>"No, no way. This building was The Pillar Splendia… It was, I know it, it's been around since 2004!" He exclaimed aloud. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya hurried away from the building, trying to get back to his apartment complex as fast as he could. Along the way he found himself getting more and more confused. </p><p> </p><p>All the buildings names were changed, the cars driving along the streets were models and brands he had never heard of, and the displays on top of those wrong buildings were advertising products and movies he'd never even heard of! </p><p> </p><p>Things only got worse when he returned to his apartment complex. It's name was different too, the layout was the same but the colors were all wrong. When he got to his front door, apartment 113, he hurriedly shoved his key in the lock only to find that it didn't work at all. </p><p> </p><p>"No, no no this doesn't make any sense!" He whispered nervously, turning the key as hard as he possibly could with still no luck. </p><p> </p><p>The clearing of someone's throat behind him made him jump, and he found someone with a bag of groceries staring at him suspiciously. "What are you doing?" They questioned. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya quickly pulled his key out, looking up at the door before he stuttered out,"Oh! Sorry, wrong door! I-I'm just so tired, I had a long shift, you know?" He backed away, moving further down the hallway to escape the suspicious gaze. </p><p> </p><p>"Sure…" The person muttered, holding their bags in one hand as they moved to stick their own key in the door. It unlocked without a struggle. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya frowned again, looking down at his key with the 113 written on it plain as day. "What is happening?" He whispered,"I don't understand!" </p><p> </p><p>He hugged himself, his red eyes wide. "Did I actually fall off the roof? Am I just hallucinating?" He gasped. "Am I dead?! Is this hell?!" </p><p> </p><p>With no reason to stay, Izaya quickly left the apartment and stood outside nervously. He chewed on his lip for several minutes as he tried to figure out a plan. Then, with a snap of his fingers, he exclaimed,"Shinra! Celty! They could help me!" </p><p> </p><p><em> But will they be at the same apartment? Do they even know that something strange is happening? </em> He wondered nervously, before steeling himself. <em> There's only one way to find out!  </em></p><p> </p><p>He hurried through Sunshine City, cringing at all the unfamiliar stores and brands that were named just a little bit wrongly. <em> The sooner I figure this out, the sooner everything can go back to normal </em>. </p><p> </p><p>He turned down a street, only to find that he had no clue what the street names were supposed to be. None of them were the ones he knew. Without a clue where he should go, or if the route he would take would be the right way, Izaya felt completely lost. </p><p> </p><p>After wandering around for what felt like hours, Izaya gave up. He flopped down on the nearest bench, pulled his hood over his head, and buried his head in his hands, letting out a groan of frustration. "I don't understand…" </p><p> </p><p>Then, he heard something. A loud, guttural roar that rang through the air. He jerked his head up just in time to see a vending machine and a man fly into the air, followed by the screams of terror from many different civilians. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya's jaw dropped. <em> No… no way… </em>There was only one person he knew who sounded like that and had that kind of strength. </p><p> </p><p>He stood up, just in time to see the blonde hair that belonged to a man in a bartender suit that skidded to a stop and yelled,”Next time, pay your debts when we tell you too, asshole!”</p><p> </p><p>“Shizuo…” Izaya squeaked, his voice so small he didn’t even realize what he had said. In an instant the tears returned, falling down his cheeks as his heart pounded against his chest once again. “Shizuo… Shizuo!”</p><p> </p><p>He sped forward as fast as he could, crashing into the man who he missed so dearly. “Shizuo! It’s you, it’s really you! I thought I lost you forever!” He sobbed against the man’s arms, never wanting to let go.</p><p> </p><p>But he was ripped away as the man he loved growled angrily, shoving him down. “Get the hell off me, creep!” He snapped.</p><p> </p><p>His malnourished body wasn’t anywhere near ready to suddenly be pushed with that much force. He crashed on the ground with a grunt, the hood of his oversized sweater falling off. His red eyes turned up to Shizuo in disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>But, much to his confusion, he found the same expression mirrored on Shizuo’s face. He froze, concern overtaking the excitement he had felt only seconds before. “S-shizuo…?” He nervously asked.</p><p> </p><p>At the sound of his voice, Shizuo seemed to only grow more concerned. He shook his head. “No… No way…” He whispered,”This can’t be happening.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about?!” Izaya demanded, the feeling of panic returning once more. </p><p><br/>Shizuo’s growling returned, and he angrily pointed at Izaya. “What do you mean what am I talking about?!” He roared,”You’re supposed to be <em> dead!"</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em> Dead? </em>” Izaya felt like his whole world was falling apart. He was face to face with his beloved, whom he missed dearly, only to hear words that left him at a loss of what to do next. “N-no… W-what are you talking about?”</p><p> </p><p>Shizuo’s face scrunched up in a mixture of distress and anger. “Don’t act like you don’t know, you fucking flea! I was there, Varona shot you, you died! You were dead!” He yelled down at the raven haired man.</p><p> </p><p><em> Varona? Who the hell is Varona? </em> Izaya wondered, the name ringing no bells. <em> Why should she shoot me? What did I do wrong? Shizu-chan, why would you watch?! </em></p><p> </p><p>“No, no, no… No that’s impossible! It can’t be true!” Izaya looked into Shizuo’s eyes, practically begging him to reveal it was all just some stupid joke. “What the.. Why… Shizu-chan, why would you let that happen?”</p><p> </p><p>Once again, Shizuo looked caught off guard by the question. “Why would I stop her?! You were trying to kill me, you fucking bastard!” He seemed insulted, as if he couldn’t believe Izaya would forget something so significant.</p><p> </p><p>Izaya’s heart pounded against his chest, his vision starting to grow blurry. He shook his head vigorously, grasping at the sides of his head to try and stop the throbbing pain. "No that… that never happened. Shizuo I would never hurt… I would never…" </p><p> </p><p>The onslaught of horrifying news was too much for Izaya's exhausted, malnourished body to handle. He swayed side to side, and then fell forward. The last thing he felt was strong, familiar arms stopping him from hitting the ground, and then everything went black. </p><p> </p><p>-- -- -- -- -- -- -- </p><p> </p><p>At first, when Izaya woke up, he thought that the events that occured before he fainted were a dream. He felt the plushness of a mattress below him, the warmth of a blanket, and the feeling of his lover's presence nearby.</p><p> </p><p>He slowly opened his eyes, expecting to see himself laying in his bedroom with Shizuo snoring loudly next to him. Instead, he found himself in a small room, with an IV bag next to him. </p><p> </p><p><em> A hospital? </em>He glanced around the room, quickly dismissing that thought as he saw the several household objects strewn around. A dresser, a hamper messily covered in dirty clothes, house keys. </p><p> </p><p>He turned his head to the side, noticing a nightstand next to the IV bag. Gently placed on the surface was a picture frame with two familiar figures posing in it. </p><p> </p><p><em> Wait… I know those people… </em> Izaya forced himself to sit up, ignoring the fact his muscles screamed in pain, and grabbed the photo. He examined it, and let out a tiny exhale of surprise. </p><p> </p><p>Shinra and Celty, except they looked… a little different. <em> Why does Shinra have glasses and brown hair? Why is Celty wearing a yellow helmet? Hers was blue, I know that it was!  </em></p><p> </p><p>With a sinking feeling in his gut, Izaya realized that he hadn't been dreaming. Somehow, he ended up in a bizarre world where everything was wrong. Shinra and Celty looked different, Ikebukuro was just <em> off, </em>he was supposedly dead, and worst of all… Shizuo hated him. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya felt his eyes burn again, quickly rubbed his free hand against his eyes to stop any more tears from falling. <em> I can't do this, not now. I need to figure out how this happened, I need to find a way home.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Setting down the picture again, Izaya shoved the covers aside, swung his legs around, and got onto his feet. Instantly, he was hit by another dizzy spell. He stumbled forward, his hand grabbing for anything to stop him from falling. Unfortunately, all he had time to grab was his IV stand. </p><p> </p><p>Even though Izaya's weight was terribly below average, it still was too much for the IV. He crashed to the ground with the IV, hitting his head against the hardwood floor the same time that the metal stand clanged against it. </p><p> </p><p>As he tried to blink away the black spots in his vision, he heard the sound of pounding footsteps in the hallway. Seconds later the door burst open, revealing a disheveled Shinra. He let out a panicked noise at the sight of the empty bed, which faded away the instant he turned his head and noticed Izaya on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>"Orihara-kun, are you alright?" The man asked as he hurried over to kneel next to Izaya, helping the raven haired man stand up.</p><p> </p><p>This fake Shinra's voice only made things even more confusing for Izaya. He sounded exactly like his best friend, the Shinra that <em> he </em> knew. But it wasn't him, there was no way he could be. <em> What the hell is going on?  </em></p><p> </p><p>Ignoring the question, Izaya used what little strength he had to push against the fake Shinra's shoulders. "Who the hell are you?" He demanded,"Where am I?!"</p><p> </p><p>The young man looked caught off guard, his eyes momentarily betraying the hurt he felt. "You… you don't recognize me?" He frowned. "But you recognized Heiwajima-kun…"</p><p> </p><p>Izaya wanted to tear out his hair, the mention of the Shizuo who apparently hated him sending spikes through his heart. "You don't understand. You're not… I don't know you, you're not the Shinra<em> I </em> know. And I'm not the Izaya <em> you </em>know." </p><p> </p><p>Shinra's eyes widened, his face a mixture of confusion and disbelief. "I'm not…? What are you saying?"</p><p> </p><p>With a stressed sigh, Izaya ran his fingers through his hair. "You'll think I'm crazy but… I think somehow I ended up in a different world. Everything here is just a little bit wrong… The city, all my friends… And… and Shizuo said I'm <em> dead!"  </em></p><p> </p><p>He turned his pained red eyes to Shinra, whose shocked gaze hadn't moved off the raven. "I know it sounds insane but it's the truth! That's the only possible explanation for everything happening right now!" </p><p> </p><p>Shinra's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the raven. He seemed torn between believing him and doubting him. He looked back towards the door, then back at Izaya, and asked,"Do you have any proof?" </p><p> </p><p>Izaya was about to say no, but the feeling of a weight in his pocket made him hesitate. He reached into the pocket, pulling out his cell phone. </p><p> </p><p>Tapping in his password, he went to his photos and pulled up a photo. It had him and Shizuo leaning against one another at a hotpot party, with Shinra, Celty, and their other friends in the background. </p><p> </p><p>He stared at the photo for several seconds, his eyes never leaving the image of the man he loved. He missed Shizuo dearly, and this world's Shizuo seemed to despise him. As much as that hurt, he could use it to his advantage right now. </p><p> </p><p><em> If their Shizuo hates me, then maybe this photo will be enough to prove that I'm not their Izaya. </em>He thought hopefully, holding out the phone for the other Shinra to take. </p><p> </p><p>The lab coat clad man did without hesitation, pushing his glasses further up his nose as he scanned the photo. After a few seconds he let out a shocked, and slightly horrified gasp. "I’m a blonde?!"</p><p> </p><p>Izaya snorted, and then let out a full blown laugh. He couldn't help it, not when the horrified reaction sounded just like something <em> his </em>Shinra would say. </p><p> </p><p>When he calmed his laughter, he noticed the Other Shinra looking at him with a peculiar expression. It was as if he was surprised and confused at the same time. He looked down at the phone, then back at Izaya several times with the same face. </p><p> </p><p>After what felt like an awkward eternity, the doctor handed him the phone back. "Okay…" He let out a huge sigh. "This is insane, but it's not the first insane thing to happen to me. I believe you." </p><p> </p><p>Izaya felt hope bloom in his chest, a wide smile climbing up his face. "You really do?!" </p><p> </p><p>The expression seemed to bewilder Shinra even more, as the man lost his voice for several seconds. Eventually, he cleared his throat. "Yes I do, <em> but </em>there's the problem… I don't think everyone else will believe you as quickly as I do." </p><p> </p><p>The raven was about to ask why, but the painful memory of the Other Shizuo's reaction to him. He said that Izaya tried to kill him, that he watched Izaya get shot and didn't try to stop it. </p><p> </p><p>"Is…Er… <em> Was </em>the other version of me really that bad?" Izaya awkwardly asked, his hands squeezing his phone as his nerves started to rise back up. </p><p> </p><p>Other Shinra once again looked conflicted. He glanced briefly at the door and let out another sigh. "It's… it's probably easier if you hear it from everyone else. If you're ready?" </p><p> </p><p><em> How could anybody be ready for a situation like this? </em> Izaya wondered to himself, but he still nodded his head. He figured that it would have to happen eventually, it was better to do it sooner than later. <em> Besides, nothing here could hurt me more than what the Other Shizuo told me… </em> </p><p> </p><p>He let Shinra take the IV out of his arm, covering up the small wound with a bandage before leading him out of the room. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya nervously hugged his too skinny form, talking several deep breaths to prepare him for whatever would come next. </p><p> </p><p>When Shinra stopped, he gathered up what little courage he had left and looked up. Sitting in the Other Shinra's living room was a group of painfully familiar yet unfamiliar people. </p><p> </p><p>He could see Kadota, Erika, Saburo, and Walker sitting next to a tense and rigid Celty. On the opposite couch, Izaya could see Kasuka, Tom, and… <em> Oh no… Why does the Other Shizuo have to be here too? </em></p><p> </p><p>The second they were fully in the room, all eyes quickly landed on Izaya. It felt like a billion needles were poking every inch of his body, searching for any tiny reason they could distrust him. </p><p> </p><p>The tension was like a thick, suffocating blanket that covered all of them. An awkward minute passed by with no one speaking, no one was brave enough to speak first. </p><p> </p><p>It was Erika who finally chiseled her voice through the thick atmosphere. "What's the verdict?" Her eyes sparkled with excitement.  "Insanity? Amnesia?" </p><p> </p><p>Shinra cringed and let out a nervous noise. "Neither… It's… Well… It seems like he's… He's from an alternate dimension…?" With every word, his voice grew more uncertain and higher pitched. </p><p> </p><p>After his declaration, the tension seemed to increase tenfold. The occupants in the room exchanged quick glances, everyone of their expressions saying ‘What the hell is he talking about right now?’</p><p> </p><p>There was only one person who didn’t glance at the others. Shizuo’s eyes remained fixed on Izaya, his body practically steaming with his rage. “Is this some kind of fucking joke?!” He yelled.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Shinra quickly replied,”No, I’m not! I think that Orihara-kun is dead, but this Izaya isn’t in our world’s version! He’s a completely different Izaya!”</p><p> </p><p>Shizuo instantly let out a doubtful noise. “He’s probably lying to you. There isn’t any proof something as batshit crazy as that could happen! There’s no way to prove that!”</p><p> </p><p>Izaya quickly moved forward, desperate to plead his case. “But I <em> do </em> have proof!”</p><p> </p><p>The sound of Izaya’s voice only seemed to irritate him further. He jolted to his feet, waving his hands wildly. "Then where is it?!" </p><p> </p><p>With shaky hands, Izaya reached into his pocket and opened his phone. He handed it to Shinra again, there was no way he was getting that close to an angry Shizuo that also hated him. </p><p> </p><p>The doctor took it quickly, holding it out so the others could see it. "Look, Izaya had never been to one of our hot pot parties, how could he have a photo like this?"</p><p> </p><p>Shizuo examined the photo for a few seconds and then scoffed. "It could be photoshopped," He declared,"The flea has gone farther before, editing a photo is right up his alley." </p><p> </p><p><b>[I agree with Shizuo… I think you're letting your friendship with Izaya blind you. This could just be an elaborate trick.]</b> Celty held out her PDA, making sure Shinra saw the message. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya already felt completely drained, and was ready to snatch the phone back and give up when an idea popped into his head. He motioned to the phone again. "What about the phone brand? I'm from another dimension, so it should be something you guys don't have, right?" </p><p> </p><p>At the mention of the brand, Shinra turned the phone around and glanced at the brand. He let out a surprised noise. "Strawberri? What kind of brand name is that?"</p><p> </p><p>Erika bounced over next, her finger running over the engraving of the strawberry on the back of the phone. "Ooh! I bet this is his universe's version of Apple! Am I right?" She looked eagerly at Izaya for confirmation. </p><p> </p><p>"What's Apple?" Izaya wondered aloud. <em> Who would name a phone brand that?  </em></p><p> </p><p>Erika waved off his question, snatching the phone from Shinra and taking it to Kadota. "Look! The strawberry even has a cute bite out of it! It's like an alternate Apple!" </p><p> </p><p>Celty furiously typed on her phone, scrolling down for a while before beginning to type a message.<b> [I don't see any results for a phone like that. I think he's telling the truth.] </b></p><p> </p><p>"Me too," Kadota agreed. "This is too much, even for Izaya. He always preferred to work in the background until the time was right." </p><p> </p><p>Shizuo looked even more frustrated. "What?! You're just going to believe him?! The phone could be fake too! Some kind of burner, a fake engraving! It's all a big trick!" </p><p> </p><p>"How could I possibly be tricking you?!" Izaya snapped, thoroughly frustrated. "You told me I was <em> dead </em>. You said that you watched me get shot! If that's true, then why are you so insistent that this is a trick?!" </p><p> </p><p>The blonde reeled back, caught off guard by the angered exclamation. He gaped like a fish for several moments, before clicking his mouth shut and letting out a small growl. </p><p> </p><p>Tom placed a comforting hand on the angered Shizuo's shoulder. "You have to admit, Shizuo, considering all of the odd things that have happened to us all, the idea of a Multiverse isn't that unlikely." </p><p> </p><p>"I guess…" Shizuo grunted, now refusing to look at anyone and instead fiddling with the cuffs of his bartender suit. </p><p> </p><p>Izaya let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. <em> At least he may listen now, since I'm not the Izaya who hurt him… </em>The idea itself was incredulous to the raven. He had loved Shizuo with all his heart, he had never imagined there would be a universe where such a strong emotion was replaced with hatred. </p><p> </p><p>Shinra also let out a relieved sigh, and then clapped his hands together. "Okay. Now that we have that figured out, we have to help him." </p><p> </p><p>“Help him? With what?” Kadota questioned.</p><p> </p><p>“Getting him back to his universe, of course!” Shinra declared.</p><p> </p><p>There was radio silence following this declaration, nobody moved or spoke. Izaya wanted to curl into a ball and vanish. It seemed like, even if they believed he was a different Izaya, they weren’t sure about aiding him in returning to his world.</p><p> </p><p>Kadota exchanged glances with his three companions, debating without words. Tom and Kasuka were quietly speaking while Shizuo glared at the floor. It seemed nobody was sure if they wanted to agree.</p><p> </p><p>After what felt like an eternity, someone finally decided to broach the topic.<b> [</b> <b> <em>If</em> </b> <b> we decide to help him get home, exactly how do we do that?]</b> Celty questioned. </p><p> </p><p>The underground doctor cringed. "Well… I'm not entirely sure… I'm not the type of scientist that would deal with this type of stuff." </p><p> </p><p>Saburo interjected for the first time. "Hey, Other Izaya, or… Erm… Alternate Izaya?" He shrugged, not satisfied with either name. "Do you have any clue how you got here?" </p><p> </p><p>Izaya couldn't stop the confused look from appearing on his face as he shook his head. "Not really. I remember hearing some loud ringing in my ears, there was a bright flash, and then I woke up here…" </p><p> </p><p>“Were you doing anything around that time that could have triggered it?” Shinra suggested, eyeing Izaya with a deductive gaze. “Like… Messing with an Irish fae’s decapitated head, or a strange sword?”</p><p> </p><p>“Or were you ruining more innocent people’s lives?” Shizuo sneered loudly.</p><p> </p><p>Izaya barely heard what Shizuo said, too busy focusing on the anxiety threatening to overtake his body. <em> Do I tell them? How am I supposed to explain why I was about to kill myself because Shizu-chan is gone? How can I do that when their Shizuo is right there and hates me?! </em></p><p> </p><p>The raven knew he didn’t really have a choice. If he wanted to get home, he needed to tell them the truth. They were his only choice, and omitting details when they already distrusted him would only lead to him losing the fragile alliance they had.</p><p> </p><p>He wrung his fingers together, looking down at the ground. “W-well… Um.. Maybe…” He took a deep breath, and gulped. “Maybe it could have been because I was about to… I was about to… Kill myself…”</p><p> </p><p>The last two words were spoken in a tiny voice, but enough people had heard it to cause a reaction. Shinra, Kadota, and his three companions looked rather shocked. Celty had tense shoulders, Kasuka’s eyebrow had raised the slightest bit, while Tom looked pained. Shizuo’s reaction was one Izaya hadn’t expected, instead of happy or in disbelief, the man looked conflicted.</p><p> </p><p>“W-what? You were… But why?” Shinra asked. His voice sounded rough and forced, as if he was on the verge of panicking. </p><p> </p><p>It took Izaya only a moment to realize that the alternate version of his closest friend was likely being reminded of the death of his universe’s Izaya. He placed a shaky hand on the man’s shoulder, but the reminder of his presence only made Shinra shudder.</p><p> </p><p>He quickly pulled away. “W-well… I… I had just lost…” His eyes flickered over to Shizuo for a moment, and caused him to reconsider what he was going to say. “I had lost the person I loved. They were sick, and they didn’t make it. After they died, the world just felt empty…”</p><p> </p><p>“I went to the roof of a building, and I was going to jump… But that’s when it happened, and I woke up here.” He shrugged his scrawny shoulders. “I don’t know if that’s what triggered it. But if it was, I don’t know why…”</p><p> </p><p>The shock of Izaya’s morbid admission took a few more moments to sink in. When they settled down, he could see the underlying conflict in their expressions. “I know it sounds weird and hard to believe… And from what I understand your version of me wasn’t exactly a good person. But I don’t want to hurt you guys, all I want is to find my way home.”</p><p> </p><p>Erika pumped her fist in the air, suddenly excited once more. “Don’t worry, Other Izaya! We’re gonna help you find your way home! This is the type of fantasy and action packed anime that everyone would want to watch, there’s no way we could pass it up!”</p><p> </p><p>Walker cheerfully agreed, while Saburo exchanged a glance with Kadota. When the beanie clad man nodded, so did he. Izaya found a little amusement in their interaction, it reminded him of his own universe’s Kadota.</p><p> </p><p><b>[If Shinra wants to help you, then I will too. Besides, I know what it’s like to feel like you’re lost in another world.] </b>Celty said.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what I could do, but I suppose I could keep an eye out for anything possibly related to what brought you here,” Kasuka casually added.</p><p> </p><p>Shizuo quickly turned to face his brother. “You’re going to help him?!”</p><p> </p><p>The famous actor nodded. “This is not our Izaya, big brother. It’s obvious he is a different person, a better person. He doesn’t deserve to be trapped in a world where he’d have to deal with the actions of his alternate self.”</p><p> </p><p>Shizuo opened his mouth, as if to argue back, but he said nothing. He growled again, and muttered,”Fine. I’ll help to. But only so that I don’t have to have another stupid flea in Ikebukuro!”</p><p> </p><p>Shinra perked up, obviously not expecting agreement from the blonde. “Wonderful! It looks like we’ll be able to help after all!” He said, and turned towards Izaya with an apologetic face. “It could take a while though, you might be stuck here for a long time before we even find any hint on how to send you back.”</p><p> </p><p>Izaya smiled as he waved off his concerns. “Don’t worry, Kishitani-kun, I’m thankful to even have help. At least now I can look forward to returning home one day!”</p><p> </p><p>The doctor flashed him a grin before leaving his side, heading over to the others that had fallen into hushed conversation.</p><p> </p><p>Standing by himself, finally able to think for the first time since he woke up on that roof, Izaya found that the dark thoughts quickly began to overtake any happiness he felt. </p><p> </p><p><em>Why am I looking forward to going home? Why do I even care? There's nothing for me there. No happiness, no Shizuo… Nothing.</em> <em>And now I'm a burden on these people too…</em></p><p> </p><p>He turned his red eyes towards the large windows in the apartment, staring at the sky that was both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> As soon as I'm back in my world, as soon as I get home, I will finally end it all. </em>
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